29087Myrtle

The first relationship that a woman encounters with the opposite sex is with her father. In a perfect world the idea would be for a bond between the two to be so tight, that the only way a woman would date or marry a guy is because of her father’s approval. It would be impossible to sway her with gifts, or call her out her name because her father provides her needs, has shown her how to be self-sufficient, and the only time she has ever been called outside of the name he gave her was to compliment her.

If this happened we would not have any relational problems but since this is not the case let’s look at why we crave relationships that lack relation. It is said that men are the natural hunters, they like the chase in order to get the ultimate game; I talked about this in a previous blog. Well similar to this, women who have not had healthy relationships with men and/or their father do the exact same thing. We hunt. We hunt for the love that was not given to us, and we do it at all cost. Unfortunately this happens mostly when the man does not want us for anything more than a “good time”.

Now you may say that he does so much for you, take you out, shopping sprees, etc. The one I hear the most is, “We don’t have sex every time we see each other. Sometimes we just talk, but he just says he’s not ready to put a title on anything.” Let me just go ahead and put this out there: If a man wants to be with you, HE WILL. The million and one excuses he feeds you as to why he has not made it official are all lies!!! A man that truly loves you will do everything at all cost not to lose you, if you give him an ultimatum and he lets you walk away. He truly does not care about you. I am going to say this one more time because I feel that some woman reading this will convince herself not to believe that line.

IF HE LETS YOU WALK AWAY AFTER GIVING HIM AN ULTIMATUM HE TRULY DOES NOT LOVE YOU!!!

The funny thing about being a woman is that when we have a man come into our life too nice, too giving, all in, we cannot handle it; He’s too easy for us to run over, in our mind. Yet the moment this man or any man shows no interest we have to prove to him that he needs us.

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Why do we fall victim to this? Because we long for the things that we cannot have, no matter how bad it is. When you’ve never had a reference point as to how this is supposed to go, you can lose yourself in trying to figure it out. Here is my solution start with loving you, and asking God to be that father that may not be there. Spend time alone rid yourself of this man because it can lead to mental, physical, and emotional problems. Look in the mirror and say to yourself that a man does not define you, say it every day until you believe it. I know this may sound strange but you have to find out where the void is in your life and fill it with positive things. And as anything I stated before it will not be easy, but its reward will be far greater than you can imagine. it will allow you to start one of the greatest relationships ever- the one with yourself.

Elle Harris