Have you ever heard the expression hurry up and wait and wonder what in the heck does it mean. Well this is what I am asking you to do. Hurry up and wait. This is the most pivotal moment in your journey because this is where you discover you. One of the happiest and most liberating days in my life, was the day I said no to tolerating men and yes to accepting me. I took the next year of my life truly enjoying and learning to love me all over again. Loving you is urgent this is why the hurrying is so important.
In the “hurrying” process you begin to date yourself. Journal, so that you capture the essence of every moment: the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you discover your love for art write it, if you realize watching Love Jones makes you lonely write it, and even if you pick up the phone to call an old FWB (friend with benefits) write it down. This is extremely important because this is how you will monitor progress.
This is similar to a 12 step program and some days you will relapse. Some days you will want to settle for the man that makes you feel so good that standards really don’t matter. Sometimes you may even second guess your standards and ask yourself are they really that important. Does he really need a steady job? Does he need to pay child support? He sees his children all the time.
How you fight the relapse: focus on your dreams and your visions. As you are learning more about who you really are find out what it is you want to do to make a difference, and take a stab at it. No matter how big or small you feel your dreams are work at them, make them reality, that’s what this time is for.
At some time or another you will say to yourself what’s the purpose of this, well I’m here to tell you that this is critical because this is how you learn how to truly love again, and for some of us how to love for the first time. When you start to feel good you will want to look good, so treat yourself to something nice to wear, you can even plan a photo shoot. Get your hair, nails, make up done and publish those pictures. Not for social media, but for yourself. Celebrate the woman you’re becoming while you wait.
While you are waiting you while become so wrapped up in this new bliss of life that you will begin to look at men differently. During this process you will be working on making sure that all the answers to your first five questions are now healthy. Your standards for relationships will be solid and you will not waver in them because they will become the foundation on which a dynasty will be built. One thing I know for sure, a man loves a woman that’s confident and secure in herself. Ladies remember independence is of course emancipating, but do not become so liberated that a man has no room to be a man. Now tune in tomorrow as we will determine if you are date-able…
Buy a journal/composition notebook ($1.00 at the dollar tree)
What was the last thing you’ve done for yourself?
Name 10 things you love about yourself?
How do you stop yourself from calling Mr. Wrong? (If you don’t stop yourself that’s ok just write it)
What’s your definition of alone and lonely?
Name five bucket list ideas you want to achieve this year.
– Elle Harris